Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
