had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You are the jesus of drinking
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
