is wine microwaveable?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
