But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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