your thong is hanging out like whoa
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize