I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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