Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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