We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
