i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
