Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
