I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
