Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I understand Curling. That high.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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