We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
