I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
