Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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