Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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