I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
