Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
