I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
