Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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