I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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