ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
