What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
