At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
