Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
