Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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