All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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