Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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