well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize