Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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