U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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