Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
