What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize