Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
