Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize