the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize