I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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