You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
