I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
