Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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