so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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