Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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