you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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