You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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