Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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