girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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