Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
