maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
