@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
