I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
