Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
