dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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