whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
