The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Blood and glitter go together right?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
