so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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