I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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