Christians are straight up FREAKS
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
