dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
