Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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