Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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